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Grand Theft Haiku May 14, 2008

Posted by shoinan in A Little Bit Silly, Pimpage.
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So I’ve been spending the last week or so writing up stuff about Grand Theft Auto IV, getting about halfway through an article and then ditching hours worth of work because it doesn’t feel quite right. It’s been like one of those scenes where you see some guy chucking bits of scrawled-up paper into an overflowing wastebasket, except in my case I just press the delete button once in a while and it doesn’t make for as good a visual gag. I’m not sure what it is about GTA IV that’s given me the block. Maybe it’s that it’s something everyone’s talking about, maybe it’s because I don’t know where to begin, or maybe its because I just don’t know what to say right now. Whatever the reason, currently I’m stumped. I joked with my girlfriend that until the block dissapated I could put up a post just full of haikus about GTA IV. She said it would be terrible. Well, it can’t be more terrible than silence, can it… right? Here are a few haikus I’ve come up with, a few my friends have come up with, and potentially some you guys will come up with about GTA IV. I promise I’ll write something with less haikus in it soon. Until then, enjoy.

If you’re feeling up to the Grand Theft Haiku challenge, leave a comment with your haiku, and I’ll post it.

From the mind of shoinan:

The Triangle Club:
Shouldn’t feel right watching a
Virtual stripper.

This car handles like
Some kind of loco pony
That really hates me.

Hey, you! Yes, you! Get
Out of the car! Oh wait, I
Want this one instead.

I ran over this girl:
Roman did not seem to care
I’d ruined the night.

I’m Niko Bellic
At life - not so good but I
Bowl like an angel

Grand Theft Auto Four.
A perfect fit, but now I’m
Wasting syllables.

With a little help from my friends:

Grand Theft Auto Four
There is more to life than this
Go outside. Sunshine
Angela B

I have just a Wii.
The next generation has
Started without me.

Liberty City
Your good citizens are safe
For the time being.
Andy G

I have nicked your car.
Now you can’t drive anywhere.
Ha ha ha ha ha.

The Jamaican guy,
What’s his name, can’t understand
A damn word he says
Tom W

I took Michelle out
She asks so many questions
I think she’s a cop

I was walking down
The streets of Bohan when I
Was arrested. Shit.

I should be working
So here’s a random haiku
To finish us off
James B

—-

Comments»

1. James - May 14, 2008

Nice work, Shoinan (and co)!

I took Michelle out
She asks so many questions
I think she’s a cop

I was walking down
the streets of Bohan when I
was arrested. Shit.

I should be working
so here’s a random haiku
to finish us off

2. shoinan - May 14, 2008

Good stuff Mr B. Good stuff indeed.

3. Tom W - May 16, 2008

Liberty City -
It’s quite like New York,
Only much smaller.