It’s time for a quick word on the game that’s spawned a thousand slash fiction stories and DeviantART pictures involving Splash Woman. Yep, it’s Mega Man 9 time, Capcom’s retro homage that recently came out on WiiWare, PSN and Xbox Live, thus making it the first to hit all three marketplaces – I wonder whether it will remain the only one to do that, but that’s a thought for another day.

Mega Man 9 has been made in 8-bit glory, meaning it looks, sounds and plays almost exactly like the NES Mega Man games. All of which means it’s seriously difficult. It’s full of those cruel death traps the series is renowned for (see video below), hard-as-nails platforming, and horribly evil bosses. I’m hardly surprised after playing Bionic Commando Rearmed. Capcom knows their core fans love the pain of a ludicrously challenging platformer, and they’re happy to dole out the pain in bucketloads.

Nonetheless, Mega Man 9 is just plain fun, old-school “pew-pew-pew” platforming that never tries to be anything more. The level design is enjoyably crafty, and the bosses are cool and stylish – except for Jewel Man who can get lost ‘cos he’s a big nancy. Once again, Capcom have done a great job with the music; classy 8-bit tunage is just wonderful. At £7, it’s worth a purchase for any Mega Man fanboy.

Now, I’m no Mega Man fanboy, although I’ve enjoyed my fair share of the blue bomber’s previous outings. As a non-fanboy, I want to compare it to Bionic Commando Rearmed, a very similar game that sits better with me than Mega Man 9 does. The difference is that Mega Man 9 is a sequel made to resemble its predecessors, whereas Bionic Commando Rearmed is a revamp of the original Bionic Commando, giving it modernized visuals, sound, graphics and features, whilst retaining the original’s core aesthetic and gameplay. Two different approaches, but Rearmed’s is more impressive to me, its presentation being of such a high standard, and yet it still feels old-school.

I do appreciate where Capcom are coming from with their approach to Mega Man 9. The series has lost track of its roots over the years, and it makes sense to win back the fan-base by giving them exactly what they want. Also, however they spin it, it must have been so much cheaper and easier to make an 8-bit version rather than a fully-fledged product like Rearmed. And yet this approach doesn’t detract significantly from Mega Man 9’s experience, since it’s the gameplay that really matters here, and that’s what Capcom have delivered on. It may not be the best release this year, but it’s one of the smartest since it does its job with ease. Having said that, I’d love to see them revitalize the original games with production values similar to Rearmed, as I don’t think I would be as accepting of another 8-bit outing for the little guy. Also, charging for DLC like Proto Man when it should be included in the main game? Not cool, Capcom.

I enjoyed watching Shane Bettenhausen and Jeremy Parish bicker about Mega Man 9’s presentation on the previous week’s 1UP Show. I disagree with Parish; the mainstay series gameplay can’t be maintained in a Mega Man game with modern presentation, and I hope to confirm that when I play Mega Man ZX on the DS in the near future. For now, I’ll just stick to reading more of that Splash Woman slash fiction – followed by vomiting out my soul.

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